Ruby's Story - Hearing Loss

Tell me about yourself. What would you like people to know about you?

I’m a 54-year-old woman with three adult children that I adore, an artist (late bloomer for a reason), and I work at JCPenney as a beauty consultant. I love to do various things, mainly painting on canvas—mostly landscapes and some abstract art. I love doing Legos and reading books.

I can be funny. I love listening to music (signing the words). I used to be in an all-deaf group that signed songs in college, and we traveled to different places to perform. I love to read, cook, collect bourbons, and watch scary movies

What is your disability?

I was born with a low-grade fever that damaged the nerves in both ears. My left ear has severe/profound loss, and my right ear has severe loss. My mom didn’t notice I was hard of hearing until I was four because I got very good at lip reading. That’s when I got my first set of hearing aids.

How does this impact your life?

I learned to be normal about it. I got teased a lot at school, had a few fights, and even got kicked out of preschool at a church by nuns! LOL—that was a story. I had to wear a Roger device that connected to the teacher’s microphone. I hated those things. I would act like it was a cassette player playing music when hearing kids were around—a cloaking disguise to hide my embarrassment. I can’t tell you how many times I almost got in a fight because of that.

Mainstreaming was hard because I would get pulled from classes and had to go to speech therapy. I quit going when I was in 9th grade because I was done with missing classes and wanted to be normal. Most teachers were understanding, but I had a few that weren’t. Notes taken, longer time to take tests, tutor sessions—especially for English. I loved math, science, art classes, and PE. I loved to run.

What have you learned from your experiences?

I grew up in a mining camp, and that’s where most of my friends were—not at school. I kept to myself mostly because people treated me differently than the ones I grew up with. I learned that I could be two different people: who I was at home and who I was at school. I learned to cope with my differences at school because it was emphasized more than it was at home. My mom, family, and friends at home never treated me any differently from anyone else.

As I got older, at school, some friends treated me the same way as everyone else. I know extra support was necessary for me to succeed in school, but sometimes it caused friction among my peers.

What are some benefits you have encountered from having your disability?

Not a lot. I had to work harder at school and at work, and be more alert with my children when they were little. I slept in their rooms because I couldn’t hear them if they needed me.

I learned a new language (sign language) when I went to college—I literally picked it up in less than one semester. I was already at Tier 3 after learning it for three months. It was like my brain unlocked after being exposed, and I could hear the words in my head by watching sign language. I learned to be self-reliant in many situations, and I hope I passed that along to my three kids.

If someone met you for the first time, what would you like them to know about you?

I act like anyone else—nothing out of the ordinary. Most people don’t know (I think) that I’m hard of hearing until I say something, because I talk a little differently or don’t answer when they talk behind me.

When people turn and talk away from me, I explain that I am hard of hearing and would like them to look at me while they’re talking. Now, this can go two ways: first, they understand and just repeat normally, and it’s all good. Or (this is where it gets comical) they over-pronounce their words or get louder, which makes it funny to me but a little embarrassing at times.

Some people get stressed when they think they have to do a little more, like when I can’t answer the phone at work because it’s not hearing-aid compatible, or when I have to find sensors (security) that are going off because my hearing aids can’t locate the beeping noises.

I’ve had people request to talk to someone else because they don’t feel comfortable around me or just don’t want to deal with me. It’s their loss, not mine.

We are all the same but different in aspects of learning. I don’t see myself as any different from anyone else, and I choose to be that way.

Resources for Hearing Loss

National Organizations & Advocacy

These organizations provide education, advocacy, and community support:

• Hearing Loss Association of America

  • One of the largest organizations supporting people with hearing loss in the U.S., offering education, advocacy, and local support groups.

• American Speech-Language-Hearing Association

  • A professional organization that provides resources on hearing, communication disorders, and access to certified specialists.

• National Institute on Deafness and Other Communication Disorders

  • Offers evidence-based information on hearing loss, research updates, and treatment options.

• Association of Late-Deafened Adults

  • Focuses on individuals who experience hearing loss later in life, providing peer support and advocacy.